The transition- Part 1

If I could give you any type of advice right now, it is to never EVER attempt planning a life changing event during a business trip that requires your undivided attention. My emotions are a complete rollercoaster, and my physical status is similar to a crumbling biscuit. 

I never realized how nerve wracking it would be second time round and I am extremely surprised that I am now remembering my first time was nothing like this, not even close. I barely had anything to worry about first time round despite it being multiple functions, in different countries and lots to prepare for. Now, however, it is a completely different ball game but why is it that much more challenging? shouldn't it be easier and a lot more direct? apparently not.

I wouldn't call myself a people pleaser but disappointing my mother is never an option for me. It has always been about seeing mum happy. Always have, always will be. So let me explain the difference this time that I quickly realized......

First time round, I couldn't give a hoot what the other party liked, wanted, preferred. It was ALL ABOUT ME. I lived the princess role and let it be MY WAY, MY SAY because mum and I were aligned about what I wanted and how big I wanted my day to be. This time..........things are different. VERY different. From loving the spotlight, not being able to wait to walk down the aisle, excited about my song, etc to fearing entering the hall, terrified of not being to contain my emotions, worried that I might fall, everything falling apart etc. In addition to all that, I have a complete "carefree" attitude and don't seem to worry much about any details. I am on full fledge to let everyone else decide and plan and enjoy. My mindset it a lot further, deeper and looking way ahead. I am on a constant high and I find myself giggling to myself or having to pinch myself to remind myself that this is happening, and I am finally blessed to have a second chance at life!

A significant number of people have asked me if I am "afraid" leading me to think is it wrong that I am not?! is it strange that my immediate answer is "No I am excited, I am happy, I can't wait to start this new chapter in my life!"

I must admit though, the transition phase from the news coming out, while the festivities begin and on to the finale where it is locked and sealed is probably the most challenging. Those lurking come up to surface and the not so genuine take their opportunity to strike. THAT is what I fear. I find myself praying a lot more and a lot harder. This HAS to work. I am in it to MAKE it work. 

I know they say everything happens for a reason, and everything happens at its own pace but if I had known that 10th of July would result in becoming THIS source of happiness, I would have been a lot more responsive and less passive. 



 
and what a pirate you are 💓


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